"We had that bastard kicked out of the game. Unnecessary roughness," says the coach, whose entire knowledge of coaching is culled from sports movies.
Now, it was made quite clear to me at the Christian writer's conference that any strong language is not tolerated by any of their Christian publishers. So, shall I rewrite my coach's line?
"We had that dummy kicked out of the game."
"We had that loser kicked out of the game."
"We had that--"
Okay, none of those lines work. The conference suggestion was to replace actual curse words with phrases like "he cursed." So, my coach's line could be replaced with: "He proceeded to call the player an unrepeatable name." But the problem is, I'm writing in the person of my main character, Jay, who would have absolutely no problem repeating "bastard." In fact, he might say it himself sometime in the rest of the novel.
The problem is, my characters make my book unpublishable in the Christian market, and my message makes my book unlikely to be published anywhere else. So what's a starving artist to do?